I get this kind of message a few times a week. I feel like the intent is good-natured and the person means well, but I have to say it still frustrates me. First, you have no idea what I eat. Because of my size you are inferring that I stuff my face full of cheeseburgers and bacon at a constant rate. The truth is, my diet is fairly average and while I certainly indulge from time to time, I don’t consider it to be unhealthy. If I were able to engage in more physical activity, I probably would have lost a decent amount of weight by now. But due to my circumstances, it is only a pound or two per month.
Secondly, a person’s shape is no indication of their health. Sometimes it can be a contributing factor. Sometimes it can be a risk factor. But it is merely one variable in a very complicated health puzzle. Please don’t assume one is unhealthy by physical appearance alone.
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This condition effects athletes, fat people, skinny people… it doesn’t care what shape they are. It is most likely catalyzed by a retrovirus and it reduces the cells ability to use and recycle energy efficiently. I have actually lost a great deal of weight in the past and I can say with certainty that it did not relieve my CFS. I also have narcolepsy, which is a neurological condition. I have depression, which is a chemical imbalance. They don’t care much about what shape I am either. At this point in my life, my weight is not a huge contributing factor in my personal health puzzle.
I am not a fool. I know that my weight is a risk factor for future health problems. And I promise I have done all I can to address this issue. But sometimes there isn’t much to be done. In the 12 years I’ve been sick I have tried many times to reduce my mass. I have seen all the doctors. I have consulted with dietitians. I have bought weight loss gadgets. I have tried all of your wonderful diets. Yes, even that one. (Please don’t send me anymore diet suggestions.) I even tried to have most of my stomach removed, but I was told my other health issues made it too much of a risk.
I have yo-yo’d back and forth so many times. I am not willing to yo another yo unless I truly feel like I have a long term, effective solution. I’ve come to the realization that until I find a way to be more physically active… I’m going to be a big guy. I’m not ashamed of what I see in the mirror. I don’t mind being big. I take my health very seriously and I do the best I can under the circumstances. I could fill a book with all of the effort I have put into feeling better. I have tried risky medicines with horrible side effects. I have tried experimental procedures. I have put myself in great debt trying alternative treatments. And almost all of it for naught. But I still keep trying, even if you don’t think I do.
I thank you for your concern, but I ask that in the future you just accept that I am fat and that’s okay.